I’m going to be a published author!
This summer, something incredible happened. After a year of talking, then negotiating, then revising an agreement with a publisher- I SIGNED IT! This means that someone is legally bound to publish my novel within 18 months. My manuscript will actually become a NOVEL!!
The publisher and I had gone back and forth on a date to sit down and sign the thing, but the lawyer in me wanted to do it over e-mail (because it’s easier to confirm it’s the right version, etc.). So I did that and then scanned it and sent it at work. BIG MISTAKE. I literally started crying at my desk. Someone out there thinks I got a bad performance review!
It was so weird because I knew this was going to happen for a while. But then it actually happened and I felt so overwhelmed. To have worked so hard on something for so long and then receive that validation is an incredible feeling. I finally had a concrete response to the question “how is the novel going?” But, above all, I was overwhelmed because I was blessed to have had the experience at all.
Like Beyonce, I hate talking about who I am or am not dating in many circumstances. It’s border line infuriating how society seems to define a woman by who they marry and when. Or if they have kids and when. But one thing I have always believed was that rather than pining for the security of relationship life while you’re single, you should enjoy the freedom and opportunity. And likewise, rather than missing the freedom while in a relationship, you should enjoy the love and security. Enjoy the benefits of what you have, when you have it.
I bring this up because, in that moment, crying at my desk, I knew that I was experiencing something amazing that I couldn’t at least in my prior relationships. During this period of “freedom,” I had discovered what fulfilled me. I don’t know if it’s the vulnerability that comes with pouring your soul on the page or the sense that someone out there will finally understand you, but the experience really did feel like falling in love. I didn’t even realize that I thought that scenario—being fulfilled on one’s own—was impossible, until I had experienced it and the amazement that followed.
I wrote this post shortly after signing the agreement. I don’t know why I took so long to publish it, but during that time an editor has been reviewing my work and she got back to me recently. The second wave of intensity is about to begin!